Shuffle
by TheGrimLlama
Summary: They were on their third hand of the night, when CR took the deck from Beca's hand and placed it back on the duvet. She looked Beca square in the face, giving Beca full view of the query that was sitting on the tip of her tongue. "Are we gonna pretend that you came in here to play Poker? Or are you gonna tell me why you're currently doing a fantastic impression of Lilly?"
1. Shuffle

Beca had always enjoyed playing Poker. It had gone from being a game she'd play with her Gramps, to something she used to clear her head. She knew she was good. She always had been, she could read people, their body language, their facial expressions… What she wasn't good at, was replicating those expressions. It was one of the reasons she had found herself hanging out with Cynthia Rose more frequently over the last few weeks.

Don't get her wrong, Beca loved CR. She really did. What she hated, was forced socializing. It had been late one Thursday night, most of the other Bella's were off doing their own thing, Chloe was on a weekend trip to see her new nephew, who was born a day earlier, Beca was shuffling the deck of cards she'd received in the mail from her Grandfather. CR walked into the lounge room, shrugging out of her jacket, she gave Beca a curious look.

"What?"

CR draped the jacket across the back of the armchair and nodded at the cards, "You shuffle like a pro. Any other secret skills you got?"

Beca smirked, "I will not encourage your habit, but I play a mean game of Poker."

CR shook her head, "I'm an escape gambler, meaning a friendly hand with no stakes is not gonna cause a relapse."

And that was how their Thursday evening Poker games began.

At first, that was all it was. Just a friendly game, occasional ribbing from CR on Beca's newfound singleness, since breaking up with Jesse. Beca usually brushed it off with a chuckle, and a comment about men being far too high maintenance. CR would wiggle her eyebrows suggestively, dodging whatever soft item was near enough for Beca to throw.

Beca had never really questioned her sexuality. She wasn't a homophobe, but she'd grown up in a house where being gay was certainly not spoken about. Hell, she remembers with great embarrassment, when fifteen year old Beca asked her father what her classmates meant when they called her gay.

She'd never really questioned her sexuality, because she never needed to. She rarely found her attracted to boys her age growing up. She was more invested in her close relationships with her few female friends. While other girls were crushing on Michael Johnston, Beca was nose to the grindstone, learning the nuances of various musical instruments and recording programs. She didn't notice the floppy hair and the puppy dog eyes that her friends were swooning over.

Which is why Jesse had come as such a shock to her. He was such an anomaly. He made room for Beca's snark. He called her out when she was being unreasonable. He stuck around. And sure, he was attractive, but the more Beca thought about it, she was never _really_ attracted to him. It was one of her main reasons for breaking up with him.

They were great together. Really great. They complimented each other, but Beca found herself wondering. She wondered why certain people could make her heart race like she'd run a marathon with one smile, yet it took Jesse a good half an hour of heavy making out to even peak. She wondered how someone as amazing as Jesse could leave her feeling like part of her was missing. Eventually, Beca realised that couldn't continue dragging Jesse along. So after a two hour chat over coffee, a few tears shed from both parties, they were back to being friends. Jesse understood.

Now that Beca was single again, her eyes were certainly open to the effect that a certain Bella was having on her. And now, nearly three months after the break up, Beca found herself cross legged on Cynthia Rose's bed, deck of cards fluttering through her fingers.

They were on their third hand of the night, when CR took the deck from Beca's hand and placed it back on the duvet. She looked Beca square in the face, giving Beca full view of the query that was sitting on the tip of her tongue.

"Are we gonna pretend that you came in here to play Poker? Or are you gonna tell me why you're currently doing a fantastic impression of Lilly?"

Beca smiled apologetically, she knew she'd be terrible company tonight. Especially after her conversation with Chloe earlier in the day. Beca glanced toward the door, as if Chloe could magically hear what Beca was thinking. "I need some advice?"

CR chuckled, "Are you sure?"

Beca rolled her eyes and flicked a card off the pile. "How did you know?"

Beca watched the querying expression take hold of CR's face again, "Specifics? I know a lot of things. How did I know what?"

Beca sighed and began shuffling the cards again, it seemed to be enough to keep her nerves calm as she debated how to broach the topic. She suddenly knew why people made such a big deal about coming out to their family. It was fucking scary. Beca mumbled her question into the cards.

"Well Lilly…"

"I'm sorry, okay… This… How did you… _know_ … Like… that you were gay?" Beca felt the rest of her breath exit her body, the relief of actually saying what she'd been thinking about for the last three months, relaxing her body enough to place the cards back on the bed.

CR was eying her with an expression that she'd never seen before. It was like she was seeing Beca in a whole new light. It was an expression that reminded Beca of her mother. "How did I know I was gay?"

Beca nodded, "I mean, if it's too personal and all…"

"God no… I'm just… processing. I guess I always knew? Like, I was never really interested in boys at school. I mean, I kinda forced myself to have a crush on this guy named Jerry in middle school, but I never really got into it. And I guess… Once I accepted it, I just was?"

Beca nodded, she knew exactly what that was like. Hell, Beca was still open to the possibility of being with the right guy, but right now? With the way she felt about a certain red-haired Bella? She was definitely more than a little gay.

"Any reason you're asking, B? Coz, I'm more than happy to answer any other questions you might have."

"I think…" Beca huffed again and picked up the cards, shuffling them a few times as she worked up the nerve to actually outright say what she was thinking. "So… like… ugh, why is this so hard…? There's this girl…"

Beca glanced up, the knowing look on CR's face making her feel a little braver, "She just… I'm definitely more than a little gay for her… She just… Have you ever met someone that just…? It doesn't matter what she does, she just… takes your breath away?"

"Wouldn't be marrying Kelly if she didn't make me feel that way," CR said with a nod. "Can I ask…?"

"How do I even approach her? Like… Can I just… Do I just walk up and say, _oh, by the way Chlo, I just wanna throw you down and kiss that stupid smile off your face?_ "

CR watched the blush race up Beca's cheeks as realised exactly how much she'd revealed. She took the cards from Beca's hand and linked their fingers, "You might wanna come out to the girl's first, okay? And sure, it might seem like a big deal right now, but they won't judge you. Hell, I'll be right there…"

Beca bit her lip, "You will…?"

CR squeezed her hand and let go, snapping her fingers, "I'm the resident fairy gay mother."

Beca chuckled, "Really? That's what you're goin' with?"

"Made you laugh. That's what I was aiming for, B."


	2. Cake

Today was the day.

She was going to do it.

She had to do it. It had been two weeks since her discussion with Cynthia Rose, two long weeks of over analysing conversations and biting her tongue at times when an inappropriate comment seemed to materialise out of nowhere. Beca had been so stressed about the whole thing that she'd barely spent any alone time with her best friend. Chloe was suffering, she'd confronted Beca, wondering what she'd done wrong, why she was being avoided. It broke Beca's heart to lie to her but she just couldn't bring herself to say the words that were so often at the forefront of her mind. Chloe bought the feeble excuse that Beca had given her, saying that she'd give Beca the space she needed to work through whatever was bothering her. If it was possible for Beca to fall any harder for Chloe, she would have.

It was that thought that made her call CR back up to her room.

"Come on B. You're prolonging the inevitable. What are you so afraid of?"

Beca sighed and dropped back onto the bed, "I'm… What…" What _was_ taking her so long? The questions flooded to the front of Beca's mind, leaving her completely stunned. She wasn't afraid of the girls rejecting her. She wasn't afraid of Chloe's reaction. She wasn't afraid of the ribbing that was bound to come from Amy. "Nothing. I'm just… Procrastinating or whatever."

CR smirked at Beca, she knew exactly what that was like.

"You know if you're stuck, you can make a cake."

CR spun around to face the added voice, missing the groan that slipped from Beca's lips. She shook her head, and gave Beca an apologetic glance when she realised that she probably should have closed the door for this type of conversation. "What? Have you got supersonic hearing?"

Fat Amy walked into the room, dumping the laundry basket on the floor beside the bed, "Are you for real? You gotta be blind as a bat not to know. Hell I don't know how short stuff managed to keep her lezzie hands off me…" Whatever Amy was going to say was cut off by the pillow that hit her square in the face. "Oof… You bloody knob head. I'm trying to help."

Beca heard CR chuckle from the foot of her bed, "What?"

"You gotta admit… Everyone loves cake B."

Beca snorted, the image of her presenting the Bella's with a brightly iced pride cake was a little too much. "So what? I make a cake filled with funfetti and frost it with _hooray I'm gay!_?" Beca actually saw Fat Amy's face light up at the idea. It was ridiculous. She'd better shoot that idea down immediately. "It's not happening."

"Aw come on Becs."

Beca held up a hand, attempting to shut the two laughing women up, "I'm out. I can't deal with the two of you right now." The laughter swelled again as Beca swung her legs of the side of the bed and onto the floor. "I'll make you a deal. If I haven't told the Bella's by tonight, Fat Amy, your cake idea… Maybe. Okay. But… Let me… Just… I have something to do, okay?"

Fat Amy gave Beca a salute from her bed and CR clapped her on the shoulder, "You'll be fine B."

Beca nodded and quickly left the two women to their own devices. She made her way into the kitchen, following the sound of Chloe's voice as she sang along to one of the more recent mixes that Beca had made. She watched as Chloe's face lit up when she tugged one of the ear buds out, "Hey Becs!"

Beca smiled and asked, "Are you busy for like… an hour?"

Chloe nodded and closed the notebook that she'd been doodling in. "I'm all yours for the afternoon if you're up for it."

Beca felt her cheeks warm up, she decided that Chloe should definitely not be allowed to wink at her like that, damn it. "I was just hoping that I could buy you a coffee to make up for being an absent asshole for the last two weeks?"

Chloe quickly jumped from her place at the breakfast bar. "Lead the way, Captain! Unless… Do you want me to drive?"

Beca shrugged, "It's entirely up to you. We can walk three blocks down to campus or we can go to the city."

Beca watched as Chloe contemplated the decision. "Jeez, don't hurt yourself there, babe…"

Chloe rolled her eyes, "I'll drive. That way you can't run away if you decided to have one of your breakdowns…"

Beca scoffed, "You know… I can change my mind…" She saw the slight flash of panic that was quickly hidden by Chloe's usual sunny demeanour. "Hey. I was kidding." Chloe's smile brightened again, "Let me in the car so you can stop worrying that I'm gonna run away."

"Sounds great."

The car rid to the café was comfortably silent. It was one of the things that Beca loved about her friendship with Chloe. Even after two weeks of Beca being completely off base, there was no awkwardness, no bitter snipes from Chloe, even though Beca thought she deserved it. It was just… Easy.

Easy was good.

Easy was what Beca needed to be feeling, because she had every intention of telling her best friend everything… Or at least, everything except the fact that she had fallen crazy hard for her. That part could wait.

They ordered their usual and found a table in a quiet back corner. Chloe thoughtfully gave Beca the seat facing the front door to give her something to focus on other than the conversation that she could feel coming.

"Is everything okay, Beca?"  
Beca nodded, she took a sip of her latte, "Yeah, never better. I'm just seeing things a little clearer these days."

"Clearer?"

Beca watched the confusion cross Chloe's face, "We've been friends for a while right?"

"Yeah?"

Beca took a deep breath, and continued. "And like I could tell you anything and you'd probably wave it off right…?"

Chloe chuckled, "Did you kill someone?"

Beca snorted into her coffee, "Don't be a dick."

"Becs, I'm pretty sure you could come out and say that you're a lesbian and absolutely nothing would change," Chloe said. She smiled at Beca, who was staring at her with an odd look on her face. "What?"

"Nothing at all?"

Beca knew it was underhanded. It really was. Using her knowledge of the upcoming discussion to gauge Chloe's interest in the topic was not her most ethical move. But can you blame a girl for being curious?

"Do I look like the kind of person who'd disown someone for that reason? Seriously… I'm bisexual, I've never hidden that from you or anyone for that matter… Hell, I think the only thing that would change if you were suddenly not straight would be our sleeping arrangements. Because, I've seen you naked and in the interest of full disclosure, I'd totally tap that."

Beca fumbled with the cup as Chloe winked at her, "Well, that makes this next part significantly more awkward…"

Beca watched Chloe put the cup down and lean on her elbow. She extended her hand and linked her fingers through Beca's empty hand, "Hey, you're safe, Becs. It's just me…"

"I know Chlo." Beca squeezed Chloe's hand, "So, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months. Like, a crazy amount and… I've found some things that… Have you ever just had an epiphany…?" Beca watched a soft smiled make its way across Chloe's face, "I just… When I had this thought… It just hit me in the face. Like, I didn't even know how I managed to convince myself for so long that Jesse was what I really wanted. Because he's not, he wasn't… He's the complete opposite to what I want."

Beca watched the realisation dawn on Chloe's face. The flush started at the neckline of her dress and rapidly engulfed her face, "So… Is this…?"  
"Me coming out? I guess?"

"And I totally told you that…"

Suddenly the hand holding Beca's let go, dropping down with a soft smack, "You sneaky little shit! You asked that on purpose?"

Beca smirked, "Hey, I just asked if your opinion would change… You're the one who said, and I quote: _I'd totally tap that._ "

"So, you're…"

"I won't say one hundred percent lesbian, but there is a good eighty-five percent of my that prefers women…"

Chloe took a deep breath, "Does anyone else know?"

Beca nodded, "CR helped me to work it all out, she's the one who convinced me to come out. And Fat Amy… I don't even know how she knew but…"  
"You told Fat Amy before me?" Chloe said, her face screwing up playfully.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. True to her word, Chloe never once treated Beca differently. She felt so much better about herself not having that huge secret hanging over her, it really was liberating.

When they arrived at the house, all the Bella's were congregated around the kitchen bench, clearly waiting for something. "What's happening?"

Jessica frowned, "Amy said you'd called a Bella meeting but your phone had died?"

Chloe rolled her eyes, "I think you've been duped."

Beca shook her head and let out a groan as the front door of the house swung open loudly.

"I'm back, pitches!"

Beca watched Fat Amy back into the kitchen, a massive cake box in her arms as she attempted to navigate the kitchen, "All right guys. So Fat Amy is clearly dying to show you what's in that box. It's part of the reason why I actually _was_ going to call a meeting tonight. Amy, will you do the honours?"

"Certainly," Fat Amy said flipping the lid on the cake box. "So… this isn't about me. My boyfriends are far too clingy to share me around."

"Hooray… I'm… Gay…?" Stacie said. She glanced from CR back to Beca before anything clicked, she held her hand up for a high five, "Nice!"

"For the record, I had nothing to do with the cake. I just wanted to… You know… Get it out, or whatever." Suddenly, Beca found herself engulfed by her entire group of friends, "Guys… I hate hugs…"  
Chloe wrapped her arms tighter around Beca as she was squished in by Stacie, Flo and Ashley, "You also hate cake… But here's a big gay cake with…. Oh em gee! Is that funfetti?"


End file.
